Just as Xu Fengnian was about to seek instruction on so-called sword energy from the mute sword obsessive, he heard pig-slaughtering wails rise up, carrying the shrill sobbing tone of one whose parents had died. Xu Fengnian turned with a smile, seeing a large meatball rolling and crawling over. He quickly used Embroidered Winter’s sheath to stop the three-hundred-pound meatball’s momentum. The only one who dared display such shameless, naked flattery before the Crown Prince was this magnificently corpulent oddity, Chu Lushan.

Seeing the dark-skinned Xu Fengnian, the fatty nicknamed “Luqiu’er” was all snot and tears, laboriously half-squatting at the Crown Prince’s feet, his plump white hands gripping Embroidered Winter’s sheath, sobbing uncontrollably.

Xu Fengnian most enjoyed watching Luqiu’er’s exaggerated performances—delighted every time he saw them. As for authenticity, as long as the Xu-character King’s Banner didn’t fall for a day, it was all as genuine as genuine could be.

Xu Fengnian withdrew the blade sheath, patting the cheeks of this堂堂 Dragon-Martial General of Thousand Bulls. “Stand up and speak. A Third Rank military general kneeling to me—I’ve never heard of you kneeling to your parents, but I have heard people say you take your frustrations out on the old folks when you have nothing better to do. What kind of propriety is that? By the way, Luqiu’er, have you finished the task Xu Xiao assigned you?”

Chu Lushan couldn’t spare attention to wipe the several buckets of sweat he’d climbed Wudang to produce. He rose with difficulty, his entire body of fat flesh trembling and quaking. One truly didn’t know how his maidservants and concubines could endure three hundred pounds of meat crushing them. The round, rolling fat ball smiled obsequiously: “It’s seven or eight parts complete. The remainder has people watching it—no leaks possible. Just awaiting Your Highness’s inspection. Luqiu’er’s parents are two disrespectful old goods. At most they gave birth to me—did one good deed. Why should I kneel to them? But the Crown Prince—wise and mighty, monopolizing eight dou of the realm’s talent all alone. Today mastering blade practice—isn’t that both literary and martial perfection? I’d willingly kneel to death for Your Highness! Your Highness, this mountain truly isn’t a place for people. Luqiu’er boldly begs Your Highness to return to the palace. Heh, while out on this business trip, Luqiu’er found a pair of lovely twin lotuses for Your Highness in Jiangnan Circuit. Just at their flowering age, yet already voluptuous as mature beauties. Your Highness, they’re ready for plucking!”

Xu Fengnian’s face darkened. “Twin lotuses?”

Not knowing how he’d angered the Crown Prince, Chu Lushan’s mind spun rapidly. He suddenly recalled that gap-toothed old servant—among Sword Nine’s techniques, Sword Two seemed to be called “Parallel Lotus.” The fatty quickly slapped himself twice, with extraordinary force and no ambiguity. His whole face became like braised pork. He said with regret: “This lowly one deserves death!”

Xu Fengnian draped an arm over Chu Lushan’s shoulder, smiling: “Look at that—haven’t we brothers grown distant in our feelings? This Crown Prince was just scaring you a bit, and you took it seriously? That’s what deserves a slap.”

Luqiu’er nodded vigorously, then harshly slapped himself two more times. They rang out crisply, exceptionally loud—absolutely using the full strength of last night’s nursing. Chu Lushan’s vicious reputation in Beiliang was notorious, truly achieving the level where bamboo strips couldn’t record all his crimes. One of them was that whenever he heard of a beautiful woman giving birth, he’d abduct her to his mansion to nurse. If the milk was excellent, the outcome was better—once he’d eaten and drunk his fill, he’d reward her with silver and send her out. If not good, he’d slice off both breasts.

Such a jackal, yet he’d always been a dog in the Prince of Beiliang’s palace. But this dog had once followed the Great Pillar of State in campaigns north and south, performing the feat of bearing Xu Xiao on his back and blocking a full eleven sword strikes on the battlefield. Therefore, after Xu Xiao became prince, he promised his sworn son Chu Lushan could commit eleven capital crimes without dying.

The other sworn sons each had their factions, yet all thoroughly despised Chu Lushan. For instance, ​stolen content​Yuan Zuozong had never looked straight at this fatty. Even more so, Chen Zhibao the Human Butcher had bluntly declared he would one day light this fat ball’s corpse as a human lantern.

Xu Fengnian brought Chu Lushan to White Elephant Pool, immediately feeling refreshed. Watching the round ball carefully squat down to cup some water and splash it on his face, Xu Fengnian asked with a smile: “You worked so hard climbing the mountain—surely not just to howl a few times in front of me?”

Chu Lushan raised his head with a smile: “Recently there’s been some interesting news. Fearing Your Highness might be lonely on the mountain, I wanted to tell Your Highness to relieve boredom.”

Xu Fengnian said with interest: “Luqiu’er is still most considerate. Quickly tell me.”

Chu Lushan plopped his rear on a stone, eyebrows dancing in animation: “The first matter is that Wu Family Sword Tomb produced a young genius swordsman named Wu Liuding. At only twenty, he emerged from that sword tomb, descending the mountain to challenge renowned swordsmen throughout the realm. To date he has no defeats. He’s about to reach Yue King Sword Pool—surely there will soon be a good show. This surnamed Wu’s swordsmanship is quite good. Alone with a single sword, walking from north to south, though he hasn’t yet crossed moves with First Rank masters, of the experts who’ve died under his sword, six or seven were thorny tough points famous for decades. But Luqiu’er thinks no matter how formidable his sword, compared to Your Highness’s blade, it’s just an embroidery needle.”

Xu Fengnian smiled inscrutably, neither confirming nor denying, his gaze signaling Luqiu’er to continue.

Luqiu’er wiped the water droplets that had just emerged from the pool but were already warmed by his body temperature, continuing: “The next two matters both relate to Second Princess. Twenty days ago, Second Princess was serving as examining junior priest at Shangyin Academy. She graded a five-character quatrain by a former Western Shu scholar, evaluating it with four characters: ‘unbearable to behold.’ That scholar wasn’t satisfied and asked which of the realm’s great poetry masters could catch her eye. Your Highness, do you know what Second Princess said? Second Princess’s commentary—she angered almost all the literary giants and famous scholars in the dynasty! She evaluated Song Qi’s lyrics as weak in intent, all boudoir obscenities and traveler’s whoring sentiments. She evaluated Grand Academician Yuan Jiang, and those of Shen Haitang and Zhang Jiao’s ilk, as technically skilled but weak in meaning, seeking fame and fishing for reputation, overall talent and interest not high, far from worthy of being called great poetry masters. She evaluated Shangyin Academy poetry master Yan Jidao’s short lyrics and small songs as purely following natural melody, showing no personal effort or skill. Even Second Princess’s teacher Su Huang didn’t escape disaster—evaluated as focusing solely on emotional expression with little factual grounding, like a poor family’s beauty who, though extremely beautiful and voluptuous, lacks wealthy noble bearing! Finally that arrogant scholar was dumbfounded, losing all his bluster. He could only ask in a small voice how the current dynasty’s foremost immortal of lyrics, Li Fujian, should be rated. Unexpectedly, Second Princess still evaluated him as only worthy of being called verse that reads smoothly—cannot be called lyrics, can be recited but not sung. As for those below Li Fujian, all other miscellaneous people—even their work cannot be read.”

Chu Lushan spoke breathlessly, in high spirits. Strangely enough, regarding the Great Pillar of State’s two daughters, Xu Zhihu deeply loathed Luqiu’er, wishing she could beat him cleanly to death. On the contrary, the renowned Xu Weixiong held no particular disgust for this fatty. Regarding younger brother Xu Fengnian mixing with Chu Lushan, she’d never questioned it either.

Xu Fengnian laughed heartily: “This is wonderful—scholars throughout the realm must be enraged and jumping in fury.”

Luqiu’er chuckled: “Your Highness is wise. Once this evaluation left the Academy, curses resounded throughout the realm. During this trip, I conveniently chopped off the ten fingers of a fellow who dared write an essay criticizing Second Princess for being arrogant and presumptuous, an ant trying to shake a tree.”

Xu Fengnian intentionally or unintentionally passed over this matter, asking: “The last matter?”

Chu Lushan’s face showed a fierce expression: “Some young man who came out of who-knows-where ran to Shangyin ​Read on Jormuntl​Academy wanting to play go with Second Princess, saying he wanted to imitate the ancients with a ‘Ten Games at Danghu.'”

Xu Fengnian said with surprise: “My second sister acknowledged him?”

Chu Lushan, his features full of killing intent, sighed helplessly: “Second Princess agreed. In ten days they played ten games. Five wins, five losses.”

Xu Fengnian asked with a smile: “I guess it was still that twelve-path board, not the nineteen-path my second sister created?”

Chu Lushan nodded.

Xu Fengnian said with understanding: “This means that no matter how good that person’s go skill, he still doesn’t qualify to maneuver freely with my sister on the nineteen-path board.”

Chu Lushan, shaped like Maitreya Buddha, withdrew his killing intent and immediately became smug and proud along with the Crown Prince.

Xu Fengnian smiled: “With you making such a fuss, I’ve remembered something. My second sister doesn’t like me practicing blade. When I descend the mountain, I’d better flatter her properly.”

Luqiu’er’s eyes narrowed to slits, seeming especially happy.

Xu Fengnian rose: “I still need to practice blade. When you descend the mountain, go to the vegetable garden and pick two cucumbers to taste. You fatty can’t live without meat—occasionally eating vegetarian will help you live longer.”

Chu Lushan quickly stood, his face full of grateful tears.

Xu Fengnian removed his garments, placed Embroidered Winter on the shore, and dove like a fish into the deep pool.

Chu Lushan picked two cucumbers, one in each hand—no more, no less. After walking for the time of one incense stick, he met up with his guards and slowly descended the mountain. When climbing up, he’d taken the main road entering through the Dark Martial Flourishes memorial arch. Descending, he chose the South Spirit Path used by Beiliang pilgrims climbing to offer incense. Twenty-some li of road, mountain peaks like bamboo shoots, great rivers like silk ribbons. Chu Lushan remained silent, even gnawing the cucumber butts into his belly. The guard commander was a robust military officer who killed people like flies. His master-servant relationship with this sworn son of the Great Pillar of State was good. He half-jokingly said the general had such refined interests, even taking an interest in cucumbers. Without a word, Chu Lushan slapped out, his force heavy and severe, extremely vicious, knocking out several of that military officer’s teeth. The man swallowed blood and teeth together, prostrating himself on the ground, trembling with fear.

Luqiu’er, who smiled cheerfully even when the Crown Prince teased him or slapped his face, showed no expression. Walking on the mountain path, not even glancing at that terrified commander, he only looked back once at the towering Lotus Peak piercing the clouds, saying softly: “As I thought—I’m not suited for mountains.”