Ordinarily when tired of seeking flowers and willows outside and feeling thoroughly bored, every half-week Xu Fengnian would go to Tide-Listening Pavilion to seek instruction from his teacher Li Yishan, or go to the second floor to search for one or two esoteric Buddhist tantric manuals to take back to his room for self-study. But after White Fox Face took up residence, Xu Fengnian hadn’t gone to disturb this fellow’s seclusion.

The palace was decorated with lanterns and colored streamers, festive and brilliant. Just the large red lanterns alone numbered no fewer than six hundred.

So Xu Fengnian always sympathized with those assassins – even if blessed with excellent lightness skills to sneak into the palace, finding Xu Xiao was truly not easy with all the nine curves and eighteen bends. Heroes with poor patience would probably jump and curse their mothers.

During the first lunar month, visitors bearing precious gifts came in endless streams, but those qualified to personally present gifts to the Grand Pillar of State could be counted on one hand. More than half couldn’t get past Steward Song Yu, then more than half were stopped by Chief Steward Shen Chun.

What remained were high officials at the level of Li Hanlin and Yan Chiji’s fathers, or family friends. These old foxes always prepared double gifts, clearly well-versed in the Prince of Beiliang’s palace rules – unless matters of military and national importance, in everything else the Crown Prince’s word was most authoritative.

Xu Fengnian naturally accepted all comers, calling uncle and elder with increasing frequency, growing more familiar with human relationships and worldly wisdom.

Lantern Festival.

Xu Fengnian brought a group of wicked servants and vicious dogs to Lingzhou’s famous Scholar Lane to view colored lanterns. The Lantern Festival had always been good time for appreciating lanterns, moon, and beauties.

After three years of wandering, Crown Prince Xu had gained considerable knowledge. Not only had he mastered many crude dialects from various provinces, ​stolen content​he’d also heard many supreme truths, such as “Where there are women, there is martial world” – he felt deeply moved and agreed wholeheartedly.

For the sake of young ladies, the number of times Xu Fengnian had fought with others exceeded counting on both hands and feet, even needing to add those several brats Li Hanlin and Kong the martial fanatic to barely have enough. Over the years, the unfortunate defeated could form several military ranks.

A new courtesan had emerged whose fame in recent years vaguely overshadowed Purple Gold Tower – Red Sparrow Tower was right in Scholar Lane. So Xu Fengnian brought Yu Youwei, saying he’d take her to smash the place.

Scholar Lane was extraordinarily crowded. Those rogue men who specialized in taking advantage at such occasions had gleaming eyes, pinching hands, groping breasts, slapping bottoms with practiced techniques. Even more bold were those who shouted “Stop pushing, rushing to be reincarnated with your whole family?” while pressing against the perky bottom of the young lady in front. If lucky enough to encounter a lustful woman in heat, she might even cooperate by grinding back. The hundred states of human life – bizarre and grotesque.

When Xu Fengnian was young, he’d done such base things with Li Hanlin plenty, except back then when sisters turned to see a graceful handsome youth, most didn’t mind.

Wherever Xu Fengnian went, a path automatically cleared. No one had the bear’s heart and leopard’s gall to take advantage of Courtesan Yu.

Xu Fengnian wasn’t interested in guessing lantern riddles, but the couple-like pair in front piqued his interest.

The young man dressed expensively in bright red paired with golden yellow, brilliant blue silver-threaded border patterns on gathered sleeves, waist wrapped in a mutton-fat jade belt. He didn’t wear a sword though. The woman had graceful figure, enchanting back view, swaying with charm.

She spoke little – the man did the talking. “Sister Fan, you women are all made of water’s flesh and bone, all other men are made of mud’s flesh and bone. So when I see women I feel refreshed, when I see men I feel turbid stench pressing! Sister Fan, when will you agree to let me eat the rouge on your mouth?”

Xu Fengnian grew annoyed hearing this. Horse-shit coffin ghost. Without another word, he quickened his pace and kicked the young master’s rear. Being physically weak, he immediately tumbled forward to the ground.

Xu Fengnian followed up with fierce stomping. That young master couldn’t even cry out before Xu Fengnian kicked him in the mouth. His extremely beautiful face immediately mixed fresh blood with dust. Xu Fengnian’s feet didn’t stop moving, chuckling: “Didn’t you feel mud-made flesh was filthy and unbearable? Aren’t you also made of mud? Why not go hang yourself? And goddamn eating women’s rouge – want to eat shit?!”

The wicked servants who feared the world wasn’t chaotic enough loudly cheered, praising the Crown Prince as more fierce and lively than the number one master under heaven.

The elegant young master’s “Sister Fan” panicked, staring with autumn-water eyes that could speak, clutching her heart, pitifully touching.

Xu Fengnian tired of stomping. Next of course came releasing dogs and wicked servants. He ordered: “Throw this fellow in a shit pit.”

Two wicked servants accustomed to filthy deeds grinned wickedly, walking over. One grabbed each foot, dragging the young master who’d been refined and elegant a moment ago from Scholar Lane.

That Sister Fan had crystalline tears, saying in frightened trembling voice: “Brother Lin was last year’s imperial examination third-place scholar.”

Third-place scholar?

Xu Fengnian turned to face the sickly young lady like a secluded orchid, treatment completely different, smiling gently: “Sister Fan, only the top scholar would do, otherwise truly couldn’t match this young master’s martial-world-famous deadly serial eighteen kicks.”

That young lady seemed terrified, clutching her heart and breathing heavily, face pale.

Xu Fengnian originally wanted to ask which place the young lady was from, but seeing the situation decided not to frighten the good girl anymore, only kindly advising: “Sister Fan, after Scholar Lin crawls out of the shit pit, tell him to stop eating rouge, or he’ll be mistaken by Fengzhou’s Li Hanlin, Young Master Li, as a compliant male companion.” Then he left grandly with the crying-and-laughing Yu Youwei and smugly satisfied wicked servants.

Red Sparrow Tower, hearing the Crown Prince had graced them with his presence, all trembled like mice seeing a cat. Xu Fengnian didn’t enter the building, just had a wicked servant pull out an already-prepared official seal strip and run over to paste it on the vermillion-lacquered gate.

Red Sparrow Tower’s madam, called Lingzhou’s number one “matchmaker,” walked to Xu Fengnian as if her parents had died, in deep mourning, wiping tears and carefully asking: “Crown Prince, what is the reason for this? If Red Sparrow has been inhospitable, the Crown Prince can kick me a few times. Crown Prince please wait – Red Sparrow will immediately have several courtesans come serve the Crown Prince.”

Xu Fengnian with stern face sneered: “I heard that three years ago, barely dozens of miles after I left Lingzhou, Red Sparrow Tower celebrated grandly until dawn. Heard the entire South Huai River was fragrant. Drank a hundred jars of fine wine? Earned a hundred thousand taels of silver?”

The grand matchmaker explained with mournful face: “Crown Prince, please understand – Red Sparrow is just small business, how dare we refuse guests?”

Xu Fengnian was amused, saying earnestly: “You have your difficulties, this Crown Prince understands, but what should be done is still what should be done. Rest assured, Red Sparrow Tower won’t be the only one suffering. Those who drank wine and sought pleasure here three years ago will be dealt with one by one. If Red Sparrow wants to open for business, first drive out that Liu Que’er who mocked Yu Youwei from Lingzhou, then wait a year or half. Once this Crown Prince’s anger subsides, you can do business.”

The grand matchmaker who’d learned from Jiangnan Circuit the money-making method of raising slender horses with rolling wealth still wanted to plead, but the Crown Prince impatiently turned to leave, only turning back to smile at the striking Courtesan Yu beside him: “Satisfied?”

Courtesan Yu learned from predecessor Li Yuanyuan, both withdrawing from brothels during their most graceful periods. Her oval face plumper by a few degrees, she held Wu Meiniang who’d gained five or six pounds in just one winter, saying nothing.

On the road to Lion Bridge by South Huai River to appreciate lanterns, the unlearned Crown Prince quietly asked: “Youwei, just now I wanted to use ‘celebrating by dusting off caps’ to describe what those bastards did at Red Sparrow Tower. Is that appropriate?”

In Yu Youwei’s eyes floated scenery fine as green ants on new wine’s surface, yet her tone was quite calm: “Not appropriate.”

Xu Fengnian said proudly: “Fortunately.”

Lingzhou’s thirteen-arch Lion Bridge was practically synonymous with Scholar Lane.

This bridge had three oddities. First oddity: named Lion Bridge but the balustrade pillars carved hundreds of beasts and thousands of birds, uniquely lacking lions. Second oddity: the bridge body used white jade, so people always came with hammers wanting to knock off jade pieces and chisel jade powder to sell for money, such that Lion Bridge year-round had semi-official sturdy bridge watchers standing at both ends. Third oddity was the strange tale of an immortal ascending to heaven on a dragon from the bridge.

Xu Fengnian saw Yu Youwei was a bit tired holding Wu Meiniang, so he took over, cradling her in his arms. The chubby and especially lovable white cat wasn’t willing to act spoiled toward this master’s master, even her aloof expression identical to Yu Youwei’s.

Holding a string of candied hawthorn, Xu Fengnian didn’t mind, biting one. He suddenly asked: “What if that young master who loves eating rouge can’t swim? Covered in shit and piss, how will he get home after crawling out of the shit pit?”

Yu Youwei didn’t want to answer this question, especially since she still held a phoenix-carved sugar confection.

Xu Fengnian had thought wrongly.

Whether that young master could swim didn’t actually matter, because he stood in a latrine pit, refusing to crawl out even if beaten to death, not wanting the fairy-like Sister Fan in his heart to see a Scholar Lin covered in shit.

Sister Fan stood not far away clutching her heart with furrowed brows, softly persuading. Until the Lantern Festival ended, she finally convinced Scholar Lin to crawl out of the latrine. As for how to get home, that was another bitter hardship Scholar Lin would find hard to forget for life.

This unprovoked disaster caused Young Master Lin, who’d originally planned to visit family friend elders the next day, to postpone for nearly half a week.

When he finally mustered courage to go out and see people, he learned that elder with shallow family connection but wielding the court’s first-rate authority had already left the city to inspect borders. So Scholar Lin simply took Sister Fan to Wudang Mountain to relax.